By Janine Perrett

Here's a drinking game for the election to alleviate the tedium of the long campaign.

That first sentence is the problem in itself.

A shot every time someone says it is a long campaign; the longest since the 1960's (1969), the longest EVER, according to others.

We get it. It is eight weeks long but it seems to have been going for a year already. And spare a thought for those poor Americans who have been at it since the last one four years ago.

Jobs and growth.

Warning - if you take a shot every time this banal meaningless budget line is trotted out by Senator Mathias Cormann or Treasurer Scott Morrison, you will be plastered for the next eight weeks.

On second thoughts being blithering might be a relief.

While we're at it - whatever happened to PM Turnbull's promise on snatching the leadership that we were to be treated like adults and no more three word slogans?

Another shot for every time a Labor member claims they are the underdog.

We get it. Best not to let them think you can actually win, or they might not actually vote for you at that prospect.

Just a tip then - don't run internet ads with the slogan "We Can Do It".  Don't remind them.

Another shot for every meaningless photo opportunity from small business premises (a bonus shot for every time small business is called "engine room of the economy") to factories to "ordinary" homes with photogenic families in marginal seats.

A drink to the first pollie who is pictured with an overweight smoking drinking loser with no kids in a safe seat.

I'm happy to oblige.